28 Jun The reactions of cheated men (ROBERT TRIVERS)
Men respond to possible infidelity with anger, drunkenness, threats, and sexual arousal. The last is a most interesting subtlety.In many species of more or less monogamous animals, the sight of one’s own female having sex is sexually arousing to the male. Even ducks being raped by groups of males are often re -raped by their mate immediately
afterward, presumably to introduce sperm in competition with that just introduced. So it is a feature of male psychology that evidence or fantasies of mate involvement with others may be sexually arousing. I have never found the reverse to be true. Women respond to extra -pair copulations with tears, feigned indifference, and efforts to increase their attractiveness. Men get angry and drunk.
Men are, of course, prone to self -deception in evaluating their partner’s extra -pair activities. The lower their self -image, the greater their expected suspicion, if not full -blown paranoia. The lower his intrinsic quality, the greater is her temptation. Given that he is of lower putative genetic quality, she may more easily dominate him, so that he may not dare voice his suspicions for fear of being dropped entirely. A second reason men may practice self -deception arises from their own guilt. Many times I have
seen men accuse their innocent partners of exactly what they themselves are up to, another case of denial and projection, the accusations presumably serving mostly as camouflage.
The Folly of Fools
ROBERT TRIVERS
