18 Sep And their misunderstanding about love creates jealousy
Sex creates jealousy but it is a secondary thing. So it is not a question of how to drop jealousy; you
cannot drop it because you cannot drop sex. The question is how to transform sex into love, then jealousy disappears.
If you love a person, the very love is enough guarantee, the very love is enough security. If you love a person, you know he cannot go to anybody else. And if he goes, he goes; nothing can be done. What can you do?
Jealousy is one of the most prevalent areas of psychological ignorance about yourself, about others and more particularly, about relationship. People think they know what love is – they do not know. And their misunderstanding about love creates jealousy. By “love” people mean a certain kind of monopoly, some possessiveness – without understanding a simple fact of life: that the moment you possess a living being you have killed that person. Life cannot be possessed. You cannot have it in your fist. If you want to have it, you have to keep your hands open.
Jealousy itself is not the root. You love a woman, you love a man; you want to possess the man or the woman just out of fear that perhaps tomorrow he may move with somebody else. The fear of tomorrow destroys your today, and it is a vicious circle. If every day is destroyed because of the fear of tomorrow, sooner or later the man is going to look for some other woman because you are just a pain in the neck. And when he starts looking for another woman or starts moving with another woman, you think your jealousy has proved right. In fact it is your jealousy that has created the whole thing.
Jealousy has nothing to do with love In fact your so-called love also has nothing to do with love. These are beautiful words which you use without knowing what they mean, without experiencing what they mean. You go on using the word love. You use it so much that you forget the fact that you have not experienced it yet. That is one of the dangers of using such beautiful words: God, love, nirvana, prayer – beautiful words. You go on using them, you go on repeating them, and by and by the very repetition makes you feel as if you know. What do you know about love?
Jealousy is never present in love. And wherever jealousy is present, love is not present. Jealousy is not part of love, jealousy is part of possessiveness. Possessiveness has nothing to do with love. You want to possess. Through possession you feel strong: your territory is bigger. And if somebody else tries to trespass on your territory, you are angry. Or if somebody has a bigger house than your house, you are jealous. Of if somebody tries to dispossess you of your property, you are jealous and angry. If you love, jealousy is impossible; it is not possible at all.