14 Jul “Wise elders” are all around us and these people have much to teach us. (JOHN IZZO)
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by experience, which is the bitterest; and third, by imitation, which is easiest.
CONFUCIUS
“Wise elders” are all around us and these people have much to teach us.
Talking to older people to find out how to live is not very common in our society. We live in a youth-oriented culture, one that assumes that what is new and current is of most value (whether a laptop, a car, or a person).
There is a Romanian saying: “The house that does not have an old person in it must buy one.” There is a reason why human cultures, for thousands of years before our time, revered the old. A lifespan of 75, give or take 20, is not much time to learn wisdom through experience (the bitter route Confucius wrote about).
This past year I had the privilege of spending a significant amount of time with several tribes in Tanzania. It was there among these tribes, where “eldership” is honored, that the idea for this project first occurred to me. In one of these tribes, the Irak (not Iraq) people, a person joins the council of elders at the age of 50. There is one council for men and one for women. All of a person’s previous life is preparation to join that council, a group that makes important decisions for the tribe. I met a tribe member who was 49 (my age) and one year away from becoming an elder. He told me it was “better than good” to be on the brink of becoming an elder. One could easily sense how his whole life had been a preparation for that moment.
As tribe members described this process, they asked us: “How does the council of elders work in your society?” We 15 North American men, near and mostly over 50, explained with some trepidation that we did not exactly have a council of elders; that in our society older people were often put into nursing homes or lived lives isolated from the young. We lived in a society that values youth above age.
The elders of this Tanzanian tribe were aghast: How could this be! After conversation among themselves, they strongly advised us to go back home, form a council, and “make those young people listen.” For a few bravado moments sitting in the mountains of East Africa we thought this was a great idea.
Interestingly, Irak tribe members did tell us that they often invite younger men and women to join the respective councils, as guests, because some younger people are already wise. What a great lesson. Age often brings wisdom, but we can find it sooner —we can discover the secrets to life at any age.
Much cross-generational perspective has been lost in an increasingly urban and mobile society. Years ago I met a boy in Brazil who told me that his best friend was an elderly man on his street. This type of friendship is a gift denied many young people in the so-called developed world, sometimes by society and sometimes by our own unwillingness to listen. As I look back on my life, one of the things I wish is that I had sought the wisdom of those with more life experience than I had rather than always assuming that learning from mistakes was the primary path to wisdom. We desperately need elders in our lives, people who have lived a long time and achieved wisdom.
The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die
JOHN IZZO
