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Wealth | Part A’

Wealth | Part A’

Wealth:
Listen then. I had made up my mind not to reveal myself to you but, it looks like I have no choice so, here goes: The man you see before you is a god. The god of Wealth!

Chremylus:
What? You bastard! Why didn’t you tell us before? All this time and not a peep out of you!

Cario:
Hahaha!You? The god of Wealth? In these rags? Oh, dear, dear Apollo! Apollo and all the other gods and spirits in the heavens! Dear Zeus!Hahaha! You must be joking, right?You? The god of wealth?

Wealth:
Absolutely! Me, the god of wealth!

Chremylus:
In person?

Wealth:
The person himself! Wealth by name!

Chremylus:
But… but you stink!Where have you been that made you so pongy?

Wealth:
I’ve been to see that old miser, Patrocles, who’s never had a wash in his entire life.

Chremylus:
Ah!
Right! Well, tell me, how the hell did you end up losing your sight?

Wealth:
Zeus did it to me! He hates mortals, that god!  I used to threaten him when I was young that I’d only visit the mortals who were honourable, wise and virtuous, so he went and plucked my eyes out so that I couldn’t see who’s who.
See? that’s the sort of hatred Zeus has for the good folk on earth.

Chremylus:
But they’re the only ones who honour him: the good and the virtuous!

Wealth:
But of course!

Chremylus:
And now? If you were to get your sight back, would you still avoid the crooks?

Wealth:
But of course I would. I hate them!

Chremylus:
You’d be visiting the virtuous again, would you?

Wealth:
Certainly. It’s been such a long time since I saw a virtuous man!

Chremylus:
I can believe that! Me too. I haven’t seen a virtuous man for a long time either and I’ve got my eyesight!

Wealth:
Right. Now you know all about me, so… let me go!

Chremylus:
No way! By Zeus! In fact, now we’ll get an even tighter grip on you!

Wealth:
I knew it!See? Didn’t I say that you two would be giving me the shits?

Chremylus:
No, no. Hang on, Wealth!Let me explain and don’t insist in running away. See, I am a virtuous man. You’ll never find a more virtuous man than me, anywhere!

Wealth:
Ha! That’s what they all say but the moment they grab a hold of me, the moment they become… wealthy, that’s when they become unbearably and utterly evil!

Wealth

Aristophanes



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