19 May What are my personal values? What gives meaning to my life? (JOHN-PAUL FLINTOFF)
When we are immersed in activities we love, we are living by our intrinsic values. These are not the general values that everybody pays lip service to but a collection of ideals that are important to us indi vidually-values that get us out of bed in the morning, or make us turn off the TV if something upsets us. Many people will share some of our values, but taken as a whole they are uniquely ours.
One way to grasp your own values is to ask yourself: what do 1 think of as a good life, in the fullest sense of that term? What kind of life do I truly admire, and what kind of life do I hope to be able to look back on? To be more specific, write a list of things to accomplish by the time you die. What steps are needed to make them happen?
You might also try writing ten different answers to the question “Who Am I? Find the reason you are excited by each answer, and see if you can find a pattern. Then put the answers in order, from favour ite to least favourite. Everybody will do this differently, but it’s likely that most people’s answers will include relationships (I’m a father, a son, a husband, a brother, a friend, a neighbour, and so on), ways in which they have made a living, and outside interests. It takes work to determine what we find exciting in each case, but it’s worthwhile because it teaches us something about ourselves that we might never previously have considered.
A similar exercise involves making a note of events or relation- ships that have made you feel truly alive in the recent or distant past. and then (just as important) trying to analyse why. Answer the ques tion honestly-don’t assume that a worthy answer is required. For instance, if you happened to feel truly alive playing golf, write that down. Then ask yourself was it because you like being outdoors, or because you are competitive at sport, or because you like the opportu nity to chat with people, or some other reason? Once you have iden tified the reason, ask yourself why you enjoy that. Write down the answer, and keep breaking down the pleasure you derive from the activity until you get to the ‘ultimate reason why you enjoy it. Then ask what other things you could do that would lead to the same kind of ultimate satisfaction. The exercise might go something like this:
What do I enjoy? Playing golf
Why? Because I like seeing my friends
Why? Because I enjoy open, unhurried opportunities to chat with friends Why? Because I am a sociable person, and like to find out what makes people tick
From this you could conclude that you might find satisfaction volunyeering to talk to people, perhaps as a trained counsellor. It might involve a bit of work.
How to change the world
by Flintoff, John-Paul
