20 Dec What a miserable situation – you even suppressed your laughter (OSHO)
Millions of experiences are inside you, waiting for their completion. You wanted to laugh, but the society wouldn’t allow it. You suppressed it. That laughter is waiting there as a wound. What a miserable state – even laughter becomes a wound! When you don’t allow laughter it becomes a wound, an incomplete thing inside you waiting and waiting and waiting someday to be completed.
You loved somebody, but you could not love totally, the character prohibited it, the conscience wouldn’t allow it. Even when you are with your beloved in the dark night, alone in your room, the society is present. The constable is standing there and watching. You are not alone. You have a conscience, your beloved has a conscience: how can you be alone? The whole society is there, the whole marketplace is standing all around.
You eat halfheartedly, you walk halfheartedly, you laugh halfheartedly. You cannot cry – you are holding thousands of tears in your eyes. Everything is a burdened thing, loaded; the whole past you are carrying unnecessarily. And this is your character.
Yes, I say to you, a buddha has no character because he is fluid, because he is flexible. A character means inflexibility. It is armorlike. It protects you from certain things, but then it kills you also.
Osho