20 Nov Love & Hate (OSHO)
If you love a person, in some moments you can hate. But that doesn’t destroy love; rather, it gives a richness to love. What is hate in fact? — it is a tendency to go away.
What is love? — a tendency to come closer. Hate is a tendency to separate, a tendency to divorce. Love is a tendency to marry, to come near, to become closer, to become one.
Hate is to become two, independent.
Love is to become one, interdependent.
Whenever you hate, you go away from your lover, from your beloved. But in ordinary life going away is needed to come back again.
It is just like when you eat: you are hungry so you eat, then hunger goes because you have eaten. When you love a person it is like food. Love is food — very subtle, spiritual, but it is food: it nourishes.
When you love a person the hunger subsides; you feel satiated, then suddenly the movement to go away starts and you separate. But then you will feel hungry again; you would like to come nearer, closer, to love, to fall into each other.
You eat, then for four, five, six hours, you forget about food; you don’t go on sitting in the kitchen, you don’t go on sitting in the mess. You go away; after six hours suddenly you start coming back — hunger is coming.
Love has two faces to it: hunger and satiety.
A love without the possibility of hate will become stale. Then the marriage will look like an imprisonment, you cannot go away. A love with hate has a freedom in it — it never becomes stale.
In my mathematics of life divorces happen because every day you go on postponing them.
Then divorce goes on accumulating and one day the marriage is completely killed by it, destroyed by it.
If you understand me, I would suggest to you not to wait:
Every day divorce and remarry. It should be a rhythm just like day and night, hunger and satiety, summer and winter, life and death. It should be like that.
The beauty is in totality. Anger alone becomes ugly, hate alone becomes ugly — it is just the valley without the hill, without the peak. But with the peak the valley becomes a beautiful scene — from the peak the valley becomes lovely, from the valley the peak becomes lovely. You move; your life river moves between these two banks.
And by and by, the more and more you understand the mathematics of life, you won’t think that hate is against love: it is complementary. You won’t think that anger is against compassion: it is complementary. Then you don’t think that rest is against work: it is complementary — or that night is against day: it is complementary. They make a perfect whole. Because you have not loved, you are afraid of hate — you are afraid because your love is not strong enough: hate could destroy it.
You are not certain really whether you love or not, that’s why you are afraid of hate and anger. You know that it may completely shatter the whole house. You are not certain whether the house really exists or is just imagination, an imaginary house.
If it is imagination the hate will destroy it; if it is real the hate will make it stronger.
After the storm a silence descends. After hate lovers are again fresh to fall into each other — completely fresh, as if they are meeting for the first time again. Again and again they meet, again and again for the first time.
Lovers are always meeting for the first time. If you meet a second time, the love is already getting old, stale. It is getting boring.
Lovers always fall in love every day, fresh, young. You look at your woman and you cannot even recognize that you have seen her before — so new. You look at your man and he seems to be a stranger; you fall in love again.
Hate does not destroy love, it only destroys the staleness of it.
It is a cleaning.
If you understand it you will be grateful to it. And if you can be grateful to hate also, you have understood.
Being in Love