26 Apr When it’s offered to you, accept it (LEO BUSCSGLIA)
When we die and we go to heaven, and we meet our Maker, our Maker is not going to say to us, why didn’t you become a messiah? Why didn’t you discover the cure for such and such? The only thing we’re going to be asked at that precious moment is why didn’t you become you?
That is your prime responsibility, because if it were not, why is it that you are so incredibly unique? Everybody is different. Everybody has something to give that nobody else in the world has. Isn’t that enough for you to become enthusiastic about yourself? And also, to say to yourself, “My goodness, I’ve got to find out what that is.”
I tell that to my students, and they say, “Me? I don’t have anything useful.” Well, if you believe it and you listen to everyone else, they may convince you that that’s true. I don’t understand why people are always putting us down instead of encouraging us to become, because when you do become, you will give me a world that I couldn’t have any other way. I’m probably in the Guinness Book of Records for hugging. Do you know that there are no two people that even hug alike? You have the gentle hugger who sort of floats in your arms. You have the jock hugger who goes rrrhhhooowww. You have the back-slapper that goes Bam! Bam! Bam! You have the tender lover that just disappears in you and then wiggles. Don’t tell me that it ever gets boring to hug!
But one of the most difficult things you’re going to have to do—it should be the simplest—is to be you, to find out who you are and what you have to share. And then dedicate yourself to the process of developing it so that you can give it away to everybody else, because that’s the only reason in the world for having anything. The wonderful thing about the self is that it isn’t anything that’s concrete. The thing that you’ll leave behind is something that’s not tangible. That’s what’s so wonderful. It’s a great spiritual something. That’s what you are. And if you develop that, you’ll leave that to everyone you touch. And they’ll be more. But it’s going to be a battle.
Under the guise of love oftentimes comes the greatest violation of the person, because our love is always given within conditions. “I will love you if you bring back good grades.” “I will love you if you’re nice and you meet my standards.” I like to think there’s at least one person in this world who will just say to you, “I will love you,”—you know, that’s what families should be. Robert Frost said, “Home is the place that when you go there they always take you in.” And they don’t say, “I told you so. You shouldn’t have done that.” But rather, Mama and Papa go out and get the bandages and say, “Sit down. I’m gonna put ’em on . . . try again.” One person! That isn’t asking too much. Be that to somebody. And when it’s offered to you, accept it, because it’s just as hard to take it as it is to give it. Some of us find it far more difficult to take than to give.
So, the hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be just you. You’re going to have to fight it for the rest of your life in a world where people feel more comfortable if you can be there for their convenience. But if you give “you” up, there’s nothing left. But if we can get our stuff together we can become all that we are. And only then can you say, “I am. I am becoming. I am a lover, because I give you all that I am with no smoke screens. I give myself free.” What a nice thing to be able to say. Don’t miss it. Don’t miss you. Somewhere along the line, encounter yourself. Shake hands and say, “Hi. Where the hell have you been all these years?! Well, now that we’re together, we can go on our way.” And you’re going to find that there is no end to you. Your potential is limitless. We’ve never been able to find a limitation to human potential. You can leam to touch like you’ve never touched before. Look like you’ve never looked before. Hear like you’ve never heard before. Feel like you’ve never felt before! Do “you” like you’ve never done before! And after you’ve done it, you realize you’re nowhere. You’ve got more and more and more and more, all to develop and give away. How fantastic! So that when you’re asked when you get to that gate, “Have you been you? Have you become you?” you say, “Yes!”
Living, Loving and Learning
Leo Buscaglia
