03 Mar The war is nothing by comparison, it is a tiny affair… (OSHO)
A sannyasin told Osho that he had been being intimate with different women, and wondered if he
should continue to do that.
There is nothing wrong in it, but just don’t get too involved. That will be a distraction right now. Let
the intimacy be more like friendship than like love, because right now that will be more helpful.
Once you change friendship into love, you are moving in troubled waters, so wait a little. When you
have a really rooted and centred being, then move, and there will be no problem. But first one should become so totally oneself that you can move into love and remain undistracted. Then you can go to
any depth in relationship, but somewhere deep down you remain above and beyond it. You become
like a lotus flower – in the water, but untouched by it.
I am not against love, I am all for it, but to move in a love relationship one should have a certain
maturity, a certain integration. Then love is really beautiful and helps you to grow; otherwise it can
become very crippling and destroy you completely.
Love is destroying millions of people. In the name of love, more people are destroyed than in the
name of war.
We never become aware of it because it is never reported in the newspapers, but in the name of love there is such ugliness, such jealousy, anger and continuous quarrelling. The war is nothing by comparison, it is a tiny affair.
But this has to be so because people who go into love are not yet worthy of it. Before you enter the
shrine of love, you have to be worthy of it. That worthiness comes only when your flame is centred
and has become silent.
What I mean by this is that when you are capable of being absolutely alone, and when there is no
need to move in love, then love is beautiful. When there is no need, no obsession, then there is no
dependence, so when you move into love it will be a sharing. You want to share because you have
so much, and you want to share it with someone with whom you feel an attunement.
But if you go into love to seek happiness, then you are wrong. Then love will only give you misery.
If you go into love to share happiness, then love is tremendously beautiful, the greatest experience
Can you see the distinction? If you go to find happiness you will find only misery, because
you were already miserable. A miserable man moving into love is going into even deeper miseries –
and the other is also in the same plight. The other is also seeking somebody in search of happiness.
Both are miserable, and both meet together in search of happiness. You can just see the absurdity
of it! The misery will not only be doubled, it will be multiplied.
So first become happy and blissful, then move into love.
Love is a function of bliss. Bliss is not an outcome of love; rather, love is an outcome of bliss.
So first become ready, worthy, and full of bliss – then move.
But right now just be friendly, no more than that!
Hammer on the Rock