19 Oct My feeling changes, not my judgement. (MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE) | Part A’
Trained, indeed, to consider and live for myself.(Lucretius)
Now I find my opinions extremely bold and persistent in condemning my own insufficiency. Indeed, this is a subject which occupies my mind as much as any other. The world always looks outward, I turn my gaze inward; there I fix it, and there I keep it busy. Everyone looks before him; I look within. I have no business but with myself, I unceasingly consider, examine, and analyse myself. Others, if they will but see, are always going elsewhere; they are always going forward,.
No man attempts to descend into himself. (Persius)
but as for me, I revolve within myself.
Peradventure the constant intercourse that I have with ancient modes of thought, and the conception of those great souls of past times, disgusts me both with others and with myself; or else, in truth, we live in an age which produces only very mediocre things; so it is that I know nothing worthy of great admiration; besides, I know few men as intimately as is necessary to be able to judge them; and those with whom my social position most commonly connects me are, for the most part, persons who pay litde heed to cultivation of the soul, and for whom all beatitude lies in honour, all perfection in valour. What I see that is fine in another, that I readily praise and esteem; nay, I often exaggerate what I think about it and give myself leave to lie to that extent. But I do not know how to invent what is wholly false. I readily bear witness about my friends in respect to what I find praiseworthy in them; and of a foot of merit I readily make a foot and a half. But to ascribe to them qualities which are not in them, that I cannot do, nor defend them openly in regard to the imperfections they have.
Even to my enemies I frankly render what is due from me of honourable testimony. My feeling changes, not my judgement. And I do not confuse my quarrel with other matters that do not belong with it; and I am so jealous of the independence of my judgement that I can hardly forsake it for any passion whatsoever. I do to myself more injury by lying than I do to him about whom I lie. There is observed in the Persian nation this praiseworthy and generous custom, that they speak of their mortal enemies, with whom they are at deadly war, honourably and fairly, so far as the merit of their valour deserves.
I know men enough who have diverse fine parts: one, the mind; another, the heart; another, authority; another, conscience; another, eloquence; another, one branch of learning; another, another. But a man great as a whole, not perfect, but yet having so many noble qualities combined, or one in such a degree of excellence that he may be wondered at or compared with those men of past time whom we honour— no such man has my fortune shown me.
The Essays of Montaigne
Michel de Montaigne