25 Mar Being poor means you have bartered your right to be the creator of your own destiny for a job you do not like and did not choose (ELIO D’ ANNA)
«Who are you?» I barely found the strength to enquire.
«I am the Dreamer – said He – I am the Dreamer and you are the dreamed. An instant of sincerity, a crack in the wall of your lies, like a flash of lightning, allowed you to see Me.»
The silence which followed spread like ripples in infinite circles. His voice became a rustle.
«I am freedom! – He announced – Now that you have met Me, you will no longer be able to live such an insignificant existence.» The following words would remain forever engraved in my memory. «To be dependent, even if involuntarily, is always a personal choice. Nothing and no one can force you into dependency, only you can do that to yourself.»
Staring at me steadily, He stated that the propensity to lay the blame on the world and to complain about one’s lot were the most irrefutable evidence of the fact that these principles had not been understood. A man does not depend on a company; he is not limited by a corporate pecking order or by a boss, but by his own fear. Dependence is fear.
«Being dependent is not the effect of a contract, it is not related to any role nor is it the result of one’s social class… Dependency is the effect of an unsound mind, enslaved by imaginary fears, by its own apprehensions… Dependency is the visible sign of having surrendered one’s ‘dream’.»
This conclusion, the way He pronounced the word ‘dependency’ each time and the slow enunciation of each syllable, unveiled the real meaning of the word and all the pain, the lack of self-love, masked by the banality of its common usage.
«Dependency is a disease of Being!… It is the result of one’s incompleteness – the Dreamer revealed – To be dependent means ceasing to believe in oneself. To depend means to stop dreaming.»
The more I pondered His words, the more I felt them eating into me like acid. My resentment sharpened into a rage. The way His words cut a swath through the human condition was intolerable. What could a man’s life or his work have to do with his feelings and fears? For me these two worlds, the inner and the outer had always been separated, and so should have remained. I firmly believed that it was possible to be dependent in the outside world and yet remain free on the inside and this certainty fueled my indignation.
«Like millions of other men you, have lived your life hidden in the folds of lifeless organizations – He said to me accusingly – You have bartered your freedom for an illusory assurance.
It’s time to wake from your hypnotic sleep… from your hellish vision of existence!»
No one had ever treated me like that before.
«Who gives you the right to speak to me in this way?» I burst out defiantly.
«You»
His words had a solemn intonation when He announced: «One day there will be a society that merely dreams and will no longer have to work. A humanity rich enough to dream, and infinitely rich because it dreams.
The universe is bountiful in the extreme, a cornucopia overflowing with all a man’s heart desires… In such a universe it is impossible to fear scarcity. Only men like you, racked with fear and doubt, can be poor and perpetuate dependency and poverty in the world.»
«But I’m not poor!» I shouted indignantly. «Why would you say that?» Inside I defended myself with all the reasons I could muster to demonstrate the absurdity of His accusation. The Dreamer was silent. «I’m not poor! – I shouted again – I have a beautiful home, a manager’s position, friends who respect me… I have two children to whom I am both father and mother…» Here I stopped, overwhelmed by the intolerable injustice of His groundless attack.
«Poverty means being unable to see one’s own limits – the Dreamer explained– Being poor means you have bartered your right to be the creator of your own destiny for a job you do not like and did not choose.»
«You! – He added, just when I was hoping he had finished – you are the poorest of the poor, because you still do not know who you are… You ‘forgot’. To no one else have I given so many opportunities as I have given to you.
This is your last chance.»
All at once, that feeling of having been offended and unfairly treated, disappeared and all my defences gave way in the face of that battering ram. I felt the hinges holding together my very existence beginning to creak and my most deep-rooted convictions began to crumble like ancient temples shaken to their foundations.
«Open your eyes, contemplate your condition. See how far a man can stray from magnificence.
We appear to be here in the same room, and yet we are separated by infinite eons of time.»
With those words, as though illuminated by a flash of lightning slashing across the darkness of the night, I understood the distance that existed between Him and I. I appreciated the falseness of my offended dignity and the insignificance of the ‘I’ I pronounced in the presence of the Dreamer like a tiny squeak in the universe.
My illusions of belonging to a decision-making class, an elite of responsible men, possessing free will and independence and in control of their own lives fell like a curtain after the first act of a comic opera. My eyes were open now. Without realizing it, I had been sinking into a mire of self-pity.
Providentially, the Dreamer intervened, launching a harsh command which seemed to be directed at the very depths of my Being. «Wake up! Start your own revolution… Rise up against yourself!» He ordered sharply, offering me a way out of the tight corner of contrition into which I had retreated. «Dream of freedom… freedom from all constraints… You are the only obstacle to everything you desire! Dream, dream… Dream without end! The ’dream’ is the most real thing there is.»
The School for Gods
Stefano Elio D’Anna
