{"id":35717,"date":"2020-04-06T00:02:27","date_gmt":"2020-04-05T21:02:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/?p=35717&#038;lang=en"},"modified":"2020-04-06T23:04:20","modified_gmt":"2020-04-06T20:04:20","slug":"forgive-them-not-because-they-deserve-your-forgiveness-ut-for-your-own-sake-truly-2119","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/forgive-them-not-because-they-deserve-your-forgiveness-ut-for-your-own-sake-truly-2119\/?lang=en","title":{"rendered":"Forgive them. Not because they deserve your forgiveness, but for your own sake\u2014truly.  (HAEMIN SUNIM)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The person who betrayed you and left, the person who stole from you and disappeared, the person who stabbed you in the back and acted as if nothing happened\u2014forgive them.<\/p>\n<p>Not for them, but for your own sake\u2014truly, completely, for yourself. Not because they deserve your forgiveness; not because they are only human.<\/p>\n<p>Forgive them.<br \/>\nSo you can be free. So you can be happy. So you can go on living your life.<\/p>\n<p>It won\u2019t be easy, and it will feel unjust. A sudden gush of anger may pass through you. Tears of bitterness may roll down your face. Allow those feelings to surface, and let them be. Treat them kindly, with your compassionate heart.<\/p>\n<p>After honoring your tears, ask yourself softly: \u201cDo I want to keep<br \/>\ncarrying this resentment in my heart? Do I want to live as a victimforever?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When you feel ready, muster your courage and make up your mind.<br \/>\nAlthough your heart won\u2019t listen to your mind\u2019s decision, resolve to forgive and to free yourself from emotional bondage.<\/p>\n<p>And then revisit your feelings of anger and bitterness. Give them<br \/>\nyour full permission to express themselves. How do those feelings<br \/>\nmanifest in your body? Do they become tense muscles, a rapid<br \/>\nheartbeat, flushed skin? Do they emerge as shallow breathing, as<br \/>\npressure in your chest?<\/p>\n<p>Let the waves of sensations surface and recede. Attend to the<br \/>\nsensations moving through your body.<\/p>\n<p>When the waves become a bit calmer, look deeply and see what is<br \/>\nbeneath them. Are there any hidden emotions beneath the anger and<br \/>\nbitterness?<\/p>\n<p>Do you see fear, shame, or grief? Is there loneliness and insecurity? Rather than drowning in them, observe them.<br \/>\nAs your heart becomes more tender and open, turn your attention<br \/>\ntoward the aggressor. Can you look beneath that person\u2019s mask and feel what is underneath such violence and dishonesty?<\/p>\n<p>Can you sense his fear, insecurity, and unworthiness? Can you feel<br \/>\nloneliness or shame under the surface? Rather than surrendering to him, observe him compassionately.<\/p>\n<p>Inside of us there is a steep mountain of fear and a deep river of<br \/>\ngrief. But there is also the compassionate eye witnessing your inner landscape. May you find your inner witness, the source of freedom and healing.<\/p>\n<p>I was once told by a Buddhist master that<br \/>\nthere are two kinds of children in the world:<br \/>\nthose born to repay the kindness of their parents,<br \/>\nand those born only to take what their parents have.<br \/>\nAsk yourself:<br \/>\nWhich kind of a son or daughter are you to your parents?<br \/>\nWhen you think your spouse won\u2019t change<br \/>\nand you worry how you will live the rest of your life together,<br \/>\nask yourself:<br \/>\nAm I perfect in my spouse\u2019s eyes?<\/p>\n<p>According to the Talmud,<br \/>\nevery blade of grass has an angel who protects it.<br \/>\nThe angels whisper to each blade,<br \/>\n\u201cGrow! Grow!\u201d<br \/>\nIf even a blade of grass has an angel,<br \/>\nwouldn\u2019t each of us as well?<br \/>\nIf you feel lonely,<br \/>\nthink of the angel on your shoulder<br \/>\nand be grateful that you are cared for.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>HAEMIN SUNIM<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The person who betrayed you and left, the person who stole from you and disappeared, the person who stabbed you in the back and acted as if nothing happened\u2014forgive them. Not for them, but for your own sake\u2014truly, completely, for yourself. Not because they deserve&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35714,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1","rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg",900,609,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg",900,609,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=300%2C203&ssl=1",300,203,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=570%2C570&ssl=1",570,570,true],"portfolio-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=600%2C609&ssl=1",600,609,true],"portfolio-landscape":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=800%2C600&ssl=1",800,600,true],"menu-featured-post":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=345%2C198&ssl=1",345,198,true],"qode-carousel_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=400%2C260&ssl=1",400,260,true],"portfolio_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=500%2C380&ssl=1",500,380,true],"portfolio_masonry_regular":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=500%2C500&ssl=1",500,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_wide":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=900%2C500&ssl=1",900,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_tall":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=500%2C609&ssl=1",500,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_with_space":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=700%2C474&ssl=1",700,474,true],"latest_post_boxes":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=539%2C303&ssl=1",539,303,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?fit=600%2C406&ssl=1",600,406,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/post-2119.jpg?resize=100%2C100&ssl=1",100,100,true]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"admin","author_link":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/author\/admin\/"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/category\/philosophy-en\/?lang=en\" rel=\"category tag\">Philosophy<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"The person who betrayed you and left, the person who stole from you and disappeared, the person who stabbed you in the back and acted as if nothing happened\u2014forgive them. Not for them, but for your own sake\u2014truly, completely, for yourself. Not because they deserve...","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35717"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35717"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35720,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35717\/revisions\/35720"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35714"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}