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My wife often has the following \u2018argument\u2019 with our older son: He: \u201cI love you Mom.\u201d She: \u201cI love you too, Son.\u201d He (wanting to win at everything): \u201cI love you more.\u201d She: \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Son, but in this case, you have no chance at all.\u201d My wife is right. As much as it may weigh on our son, he\u2019ll only lose this contest over and over again. He\u2019ll never be able to love us more than we love him. Neither more intensely nor in the same way, since his love for us will never be unconditional (and it wouldn\u2019t be healthy if it were). We\u2019ll work on a definition of the feeling we\u2019re talking about (love) later. For now, let\u2019s ask ourselves a question: What does \u2018unconditional\u2019 mean? As we understand it, \u2018unconditional\u2019 means exactly and literally what the word suggests: a feeling that imposes no conditions. Love that exists, endures, and remains intact regardless of what happens and what the loved one does. It\u2019s clear: Parents will love their children even if they cause them suffering, treat them poorly, never want to speak to them again; in short, even if they don\u2019t love them. Even in the worst-case scenario, parents will continue to love their children. Why? Because that\u2019s the way it is; they\u2019re their kids. Because they were conceived and, more importantly, chosen and adopted by their parents, they are part of them, and that\u2019s irreversible. Some time ago, during therapy, a patient brought up a question that his nine-year-old daughter had asked him. \u201cDaddy, you love me, right?\u201d \u201cA whole lot,\u201d said her father in all sincerity. \u201cMore than anyone in the world.\u201d \u201cWhy do you love me?\u201d \u201cWhat a question! Because you\u2019re my daughter!\u201d he said, as though it couldn\u2019t be more obvious. \u201cI already know that,\u201d she said. The girl felt that her father hadn\u2019t answered her question. He\u2019d restated the obvious, which implied that the question was out of place (and though neither of them knew it, this was indeed the case\u200a\u200a\u2014\u200aunconditional love is precisely that which doesn\u2019t need reasons). But the child kept at it. \u201cWhat I want to know,\u201d she explained, \u201cis what are your reasons for loving me? What about me makes you love me?\u201d This time, her father\u2019s answer didn\u2019t come quite as easily. He had to stop and give it some thought. Perhaps to try and see her as though she weren\u2019t his daughter, as if not loving her would enable him to see all of her desirable qualities, and tell her what they were (in spite of the fact that, in the end, he said that even if she weren\u2019t any of those things, even if she were all the opposite things, he\u2019d still love her). We believe it\u2019s worth asking ourselves where the girl\u2019s question came from, since if you have children, sooner or later you\u2019ll have to answer some version of it. We can logically assume that there will come a time when children get ready to go out into the world and direct their gaze beyond their parents, toward others, and ask themselves if the people they meet will be capable of loving them. The girl understands intuitively that other people won\u2019t love her \u2018just because\u2019 (that is, she knows, without knowing why she does, that unconditional love is exclusive to parents). This is precisely why she\u2019s curious about the virtues and desirable traits she has that will interest others.<\/p>\n
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<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/p>\n
Of Parents and Children: Tools for Nurturing a Lifelong Relationship<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n Jorge Bucay&<\/b>\u00a0Demian Bucay<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My wife often has the following \u2018argument\u2019 with our older son: He: \u201cI love you Mom.\u201d She: \u201cI love you too, Son.\u201d He (wanting to win at everything): \u201cI love you more.\u201d She: \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Son, but in this case, you have no chance at…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32682,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1","rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg",900,609,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg",900,609,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=300%2C203&ssl=1",300,203,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=570%2C570&ssl=1",570,570,true],"portfolio-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=600%2C609&ssl=1",600,609,true],"portfolio-landscape":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=800%2C600&ssl=1",800,600,true],"menu-featured-post":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=345%2C198&ssl=1",345,198,true],"qode-carousel_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=400%2C260&ssl=1",400,260,true],"portfolio_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=500%2C380&ssl=1",500,380,true],"portfolio_masonry_regular":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=500%2C500&ssl=1",500,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_wide":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=900%2C500&ssl=1",900,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_tall":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=500%2C609&ssl=1",500,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_with_space":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=700%2C474&ssl=1",700,474,true],"latest_post_boxes":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=539%2C303&ssl=1",539,303,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?fit=600%2C406&ssl=1",600,406,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/post-1908.jpg?resize=100%2C100&ssl=1",100,100,true]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"admin","author_link":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/author\/admin\/"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"Philosophy<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"My wife often has the following \u2018argument\u2019 with our older son: He: \u201cI love you Mom.\u201d She: \u201cI love you too, Son.\u201d He (wanting to win at everything): \u201cI love you more.\u201d She: \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Son, but in this case, you have no chance 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