Do you like authentic people? Of course you do. With authentic people you always know where you stand. You know what they think and feel, what they\u2019re doing and what they\u2019ve got in mind. Such guileless individuals make no secret of what\u2019s below the surface, which is why personal interaction with them is so intimate, so pleasant and efficient.<\/p>\n
But how authentic are we talking? Let\u2019s run a thought experiment. Say you\u2019re meeting your \u00fcber-authentic friend Lisa for lunch. She turns up twenty minutes late, hair looking like a cat\u2019s been scrabbling around in it. She mutters an apology then announces loudly enough for the whole restaurant to hear that she\u2019s \u201cnot really in the mood\u201d for lunch today, and \u201cdefinitely not in some restaurant that used to be cool.\u201d The diners at the next table lower their forks. After a moment of silence, Lisa starts complimenting your outfit, although she points out that your watch \u201cdoesn\u2019t really go with it,\u201d at least not the way you\u2019ve put everything together. She leans across the table mid-flow, grabs the glass of wine you\u2019ve just ordered, and downs it in a single gulp: \u201cSorry, I was soooo thirsty!\u201d Having finished her starter, she then plonks her head down onto the table and goes to sleep\u2014leaving you caught in the crossfire of strangers\u2019 glances. Five minutes later, when the spaghetti is served, she wakes up and stretches with an animal yawn, laughing: \u201cI\u2019m just not myself without my power nap, you know?\u201d Picking up one strand of spaghetti after the next, she dunks them into the sauce with her fingers then lets them fall into her mouth, declaring that it\u2019s \u201cso much more fun that way.\u201d Then, because she\u2019s \u201csimply got to get it off her chest,\u201d she tells you everything she dreamt last night, all of which is total nonsense\u2014but you\u2019ve already asked for the bill. And that, dearest reader, is a rough distillation of authenticity in its purest form.<\/p>\n
My recommendation? Don\u2019t buy into the authenticity hype. For several reasons. One: there\u2019s the simple fact that we don\u2019t really know who we are. As we saw in the previous chapter, our inner voice is anything but a reliable compass. It\u2019s more like a hodgepodge of conflicting impulses. We don\u2019t understand ourselves, so what exactly is \u201cauthentic\u201d behavior supposed to be revealing? Authenticity has a role to play in a romantic relationship or a very close friendship, but it\u2019s out of place in a casual acquaintanceship, and certainly in public.<\/p>\n
Two: you\u2019re making yourself look ridiculous. Name one famous figure you truly respect\u2014a statesman, a general, a philosopher, a captain of industry, a scientist\u2014who regularly blurts out their innermost feelings. You won\u2019t find one. People are respected because they deliver on their promises, not because they let us eavesdrop on their inner monologs.<\/p>\n
Three: cells are the building blocks of life. Every cell is enclosed by a membrane, the purpose of which is to repel hostile intruders and precisely regulate which molecules are allowed to pass through. We see the same dynamic play out with the organism as a whole\u2014and for the same reasons. Animals have skin, trees bark. An organism with no outer layer would die immediately. On a psychological level, authenticity just means you\u2019ve given up on this barrier. You\u2019re practically inviting people to exploit you. You\u2019re making yourself not just silly but vulnerable.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
The Art of the Good Life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Rolf Dobelli<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you like authentic people? Of course you do. With authentic people you always know where you stand. You know what they think and feel, what they\u2019re doing and what they\u2019ve got in mind. 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