Whether or not they are frequent or intense enough to be harmful, the world is full\u00a0of provocations. The only part of this\u00a0scenario you can reliably control is your response.<\/p>\n
How you respond to proffered offenses depends on your experience of\u00a0life as well as your attitudes and habits, which in turn depend on your philosophy.\u00a0If your current modus operandi isn\u2019t working for you, the philosophy you are living by may need a tune-up.<\/p>\n
By changing your philosophy, then, you can also\u00a0change the way you respond to provocation. You can even diminish the likelihood\u00a0that others will attempt to provoke you.<\/p>\n
Responses to offense vary across a broad spectrum, from culture to culture\u00a0and from person to person.<\/p>\n
The worst option is violence, which \u201cpays back\u201d offense with harm. Another option is tit-for-tat: exchanging insult for insult.<\/p>\n
You can\u00a0also use humor to defuse the situation.<\/p>\n
You can be cynical or caustic, retaliating in\u00a0a way that often goes right over the head of your offender.<\/p>\n
Too many people have failed to learn to defend themselves against proffered\u00a0offense, and they seem to exist in a perpetual state of being offended, or are at\u00a0least constantly prepared to be offended. A lot of them appear utterly humorless.\u00a0Many do not love themselves or the world very much. They experience continuous\u00a0disease. Instead of becoming happy themselves, they want happy people to share\u00a0their disease.<\/p>\n
So they invent rules for controlling what people are allowed to say\u00a0and even think, with a constant eye on not allowing anyone to offend anyone else,\u00a0thereby protecting (they think) themselves as well. Ultimately this creates a\u00a0counterproductive system that not only interferes with personal liberty, but also\u00a0inhibits free-flowing love of life and the healing nature of humor. It\u2019s essentially a\u00a0Soviet-style system, with centrally planned thinking rather than a centrally planned\u00a0economy.<\/p>\n
Only one thing is certain about this system: It produces more disease\u00a0than ease for all concerned.<\/p>\n
It is wiser for you to deflect trifles, perhaps subtly turning the tables in the\u00a0process.<\/p>\n
My favorite example of this kind involves the conductor Herbert von\u00a0Karajan. One day Karajan was walking briskly along a downtown city street, and\u00a0another man was walking just as briskly along an intersecting street. They were on\u00a0a collision course, but were unable to see one another approaching because a\u00a0large corner office building obstructed their views. They literally collided at the\u00a0corner, and both of them bounced back at the shock and surprise of the collision.<\/p>\n
\u201cImbecile!\u201d exclaimed the man to Karajan.<\/p>\n
At this, Karajan simply doffed his hat as if in greeting and replied, \u201cKarajan.\u201d<\/p>\n
This anecdote illustrates an intermediate level of moral self-defense.<\/p>\n
I call it\u00a0\u201csocial judo\u201d when I teach it in workshops.<\/p>\n
Instead of taking offense and retaliating by similar name-calling or worse, Karajan did two surprising things.<\/p>\n
First, he\u00a0reflected the intended offense back to the offender. As if he were a duck shedding\u00a0water, it never actually touched him.<\/p>\n
Second, he transmuted a potential quarrel\u00a0into a humorous episode \u2013 the opposite of offense being not more offense, but\u00a0laughter.<\/p>\n
People who can laugh at themselves, and make others laugh, are not\u00a0only happier in general but are also much more difficult to offend.<\/p>\n
Now if Karajan\u00a0were called an \u201cimbecile\u201d on a regular basis, everywhere he went, he would sooner\u00a0or later tire of doffing his hat, because the continuous stream of offense would\u00a0wear down even his capacity to defend himself. But as it stood, he struck just the\u00a0right chord.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s hardly surprising for a great conductor, but you can do it too.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Whether or not they are frequent or intense enough to be harmful, the world is full\u00a0of provocations. The only part of this\u00a0scenario you can reliably control is your response. How you respond to proffered offenses depends on your experience of\u00a0life as well as your attitudes…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":28258,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1","rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg",900,609,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg",900,609,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=300%2C203&ssl=1",300,203,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=570%2C570&ssl=1",570,570,true],"portfolio-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=600%2C609&ssl=1",600,609,true],"portfolio-landscape":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=800%2C600&ssl=1",800,600,true],"menu-featured-post":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=345%2C198&ssl=1",345,198,true],"qode-carousel_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=400%2C260&ssl=1",400,260,true],"portfolio_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=500%2C380&ssl=1",500,380,true],"portfolio_masonry_regular":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=500%2C500&ssl=1",500,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_wide":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=900%2C500&ssl=1",900,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_tall":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=500%2C609&ssl=1",500,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_with_space":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=700%2C474&ssl=1",700,474,true],"latest_post_boxes":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=539%2C303&ssl=1",539,303,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?fit=600%2C406&ssl=1",600,406,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/post-1485.jpg?resize=100%2C100&ssl=1",100,100,true]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"admin","author_link":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/author\/admin\/"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"Philosophy<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"Whether or not they are frequent or intense enough to be harmful, the world is full\u00a0of provocations. The only part of this\u00a0scenario you can reliably control is your response. How you respond to proffered offenses depends on your experience of\u00a0life as well as your attitudes...","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28923"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28923"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28923\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40801,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28923\/revisions\/40801"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28258"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28923"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28923"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28923"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nThe Big Questions: How Philosophy Can Change Your Life<\/strong><\/em>
\nLou Marinoff<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"