{"id":19131,"date":"2023-04-24T03:02:39","date_gmt":"2023-04-24T00:02:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/?p=19131&lang=en"},"modified":"2023-04-24T02:13:16","modified_gmt":"2023-04-23T23:13:16","slug":"it-takes-a-long-time-to-develop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/it-takes-a-long-time-to-develop\/?lang=en","title":{"rendered":"It takes a long time to develop (DALAI LAMA and HOWARD CUTLER)"},"content":{"rendered":"

If we think of suffering as something unnatural<\/b><\/span>,something that we shouldn\u2019t be experiencing,<\/span>then it\u2019s not much ofa leap to begin to look for someone to blame for our suffering. If I\u2019m\u00a0<\/span>unhappy, then I must be the \u201cvictim\u201d of someone or something\u2014an idea that\u2019s all to common in\u00a0<\/span>the West. The victimizer may be the government, the educational system, abusive parents, a \u201cdysfunctional family,\u201d the other gender, or our uncaring mate. Or we may turn blame inward:\u00a0<\/span>there\u2019s something wrong with me, I\u2019mthe victim of disease, of defective genes perhaps. But the\u00a0<\/span>risk ofcontinuing to focus on assigning blameand maintaining a victimstance, is the perpetuation of\u00a0<\/span>our suffering\u2014with persistent feelings of anger, frustration,and resentment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So often, for instance, we cause our own suffering <\/b><\/span>by refusing to relinquish the past. If we define our self-image in terms ofwhat we used to look like or in terms of what we used to beableto do and can\u2019t do now, it is a pretty safe bet that we won\u2019t grow happier as we grow older.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ability to look at events from different perspectives <\/b><\/span>can be very helpful. Then, practicing\u00a0<\/span>this, one can use certain experiences, certain tragedies to develop a calmness of mind. One\u00a0<\/span>must realize that every phenomena, every event, has different aspects. It seems that often when problems arise, our outlook becomes narrow. All of our attention may be focused on worrying about the problem, and we may haveasensethat we\u2019rethe only one that is going through such difficulties. This can lead to a kind of self-absorption that can make the problem seem very intense.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you can learn to develop patience <\/b><\/span>and tolerance towards your enemies, then everything else becomes much easier\u2014your compassion towards all others begins to flow naturally. There is no fortitude similar to patience, just as there is no affliction worse than hatred. Therefore, one must exert one\u2019s best efforts not to harbor hatred towards the enemy, but rather use the encounter as an\u00a0<\/span>opportunity to enhance one\u2019s practice of patience and tolerance.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

D<\/b><\/span><\/span>uring times of comparative ease<\/b><\/span>, periods before or after acute experiences of suffering, we can\u00a0<\/span>reflect on suffering, seeking to develop an understanding of its meaning. And the time and\u00a0<\/span>effort wespend searching for meaning in suffering will pay great rewards when bad things begin to\u00a0<\/span>strike.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

W<\/b><\/span><\/span>e convert pain into <\/b><\/span>suffering<\/b><\/span><\/span> in the mind<\/b><\/span>. To lessen the suffering of pain, we need to\u00a0<\/span>make a crucial distinction between the pain of pain and the pain we create by our thoughts\u00a0<\/span>about the pain. Fear, anger, guilt, loneliness, and helplessness are all mental and emotional\u00a0<\/span>responses that can intensify pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I<\/span>t takes a long time to develop the behavior<\/b><\/span> and habits ofmind that contribute to our\u00a0<\/span>problems. It takes an equally long time to establish the new habits that bring happiness.\u00a0<\/span>There is no getting around these essential ingredients: determination, effort, and time. These\u00a0<\/span>are the real secrets to happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n


\n<\/b><\/i><\/span>Excerpts from the book of Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, <\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The Art of Happiness<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

Image: \u2018Folliage Girl\u201d by\u00a0Agata Wierzbicka<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If we think of suffering as something unnatural,something that we shouldn\u2019t be experiencing,then it\u2019s not much ofa leap to begin to look for someone to blame for our suffering. If I\u2019m\u00a0unhappy, then I must be the \u201cvictim\u201d of someone or something\u2014an idea that\u2019s all to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19082,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1","rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg",900,609,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg",900,609,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=300%2C203&ssl=1",300,203,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio-square":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=570%2C570&ssl=1",570,570,true],"portfolio-portrait":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=600%2C609&ssl=1",600,609,true],"portfolio-landscape":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=800%2C600&ssl=1",800,600,true],"menu-featured-post":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=345%2C198&ssl=1",345,198,true],"qode-carousel_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=400%2C260&ssl=1",400,260,true],"portfolio_slider":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=500%2C380&ssl=1",500,380,true],"portfolio_masonry_regular":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=500%2C500&ssl=1",500,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_wide":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=900%2C500&ssl=1",900,500,true],"portfolio_masonry_tall":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=500%2C609&ssl=1",500,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=900%2C609&ssl=1",900,609,true],"portfolio_masonry_with_space":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=700%2C474&ssl=1",700,474,true],"latest_post_boxes":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=539%2C303&ssl=1",539,303,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?fit=600%2C406&ssl=1",600,406,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/post-444.jpg?resize=100%2C100&ssl=1",100,100,true]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"admin","author_link":"https:\/\/www.lecturesbureau.gr\/1\/author\/admin\/"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"Philosophy<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"If we think of suffering as something unnatural,something that we shouldn\u2019t be experiencing,then it\u2019s not much ofa leap to begin to look for someone to blame for our suffering. 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